Like, I know that it’s an all-female group so if you like totally aren’t paying attention you could think it was a women’s group, but I’m a little frustrated that I keep having to do this, especially given how many people in the group are either queer or close friends of mine. It’s not as though anyone in the group thinks I’m a lady per se… I don’t know, I don’t really get it.
One time I had a dream that the only out trans woman at my school joined the group and suddenly everyone was talking about how we needed to be really careful about using the word ladies. The combination of the cissexist denial of her womanhood (especially because I know she’s still in a space where being referred to as part of a group of women or ladies can make her week), and the obvious lack of understanding of what it meant to be trans, and my frustration at having sort of quietly taken that type of bullshit for two years and suddenly they were erroneously making that consideration for another person, was overwhelming. I had a nervous break down. In my dream.
I casually tried to mention it at rehearsal, but I don’t think it really got through to people. Hopefully this will.
Also, eugh, I hate the word ladies and the implication of oh-how-cute-you’re-having-fun-without-men that soooooo often comes with it. Especially when you’re at restaurants and the waitress (in my experience, it’s much more often the women waitstaff who pull this bullshit) calls your group ladies and it immediately feels like she thinks you’re having a ladies night out. Even when it’s lunch time. The other implication is if they think you’re dykes on a date (which, of course, I often am, just not women dykes on a date) and they want to show you that they’re down with that. Worst.